Sharing my story –
My name is Tina. I live in a Detroit, Michigan suburb and have been married for 20+ years to John, my long-suffering husband, who gave me two beautiful and healthy girls now 20 and 15. My daughters are charming, funny, and smart. But raising them has not been a picnic. They are also willful, sassy, and on any given day all too quick to remind me everything I have done wrong as a mom.
I have been told by my kids and other parents that I am a “Mean Mom”. It hurt the first time I heard it but over the years I realize it has come to suit me. I translate this as “tough” mom. After I found the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” by Amy Chua Read About Amy I felt that my tough parenting style was not only validated, but also the best thing I could have ever done for my kids in these days of over protected under equipped young adults.
I am a Mean Mom from a long line of Mean Moms. And I am raising my two daughters to be mean moms in their own right. It is my belief that mean moms have a bad rap. One of the first goals of this blog is to dispell the common assumption that tough moms are bad or they are so tough that they are not loving. The very opposite is true. Us Mean moms believe that letting your child get away with everything over and over again, while you wait on them and clean up their mess isn’t validation of your successful parenting, it’s criminal. If this is your parenting style you are raising a delinquent. We are not supposed to do everything for our kids – we are supposed to pass on knowledge and skill to them and send them on their way.
Know the truth and the truth will make you free…
Kids need (crave) REAL life skills, discipline, and personal accountability in order to become responsible and productive adults. They are silently BEGGING you for it – why do you not give it to them? Why do you just keep doing everything for them? Probably because you believe the BIG FAT lie that doing more for your kids makes you a better mother. Here is the TRUTH: It is not your job to serve a permanent purpose in your child’s life – it is your purpose to make you an unneeded accessory in your child’s life that he will eventually shed to your inevitable heartbreak. You ARE the cocoon – so brace yourself because if you do your job right you child will stop needing you much sooner than you think.
I know I am not alone. Us mean moms have been cranking out strong, accomplished and well adjusted productive citizens for millennia. We can be found in history books and even in the bible. We are the women with backbone who teach kids to have a backbone.
No matter how old a kid is – it is never too late to be a mean mom. Remember, It takes a tough parent to raise tough kids who value discipline and truth.
And when you take on the role of teacher you are not going to be popular.